Currently Watching View from the Top By Gwyneth Paltrow, Christina Applegate, Mark Ruffalo, Kelly Preston see related

So a lot has happened since I have last been here... I guess I will share with you all.

First off, I am fine.

I have been doing heroin in some form for the past year and a half. This past April, I started shooting it with my now ex boyfriend Trevor. I overdosed, spent all my money, ran away from home, used at least four times a day, and eventually got to the point where my days were bleeding into each other and I couldnt remember the past month. I have been an addict. And still am, however I made the decision to do something about it. I checked myself into a rehab center on September 9th (my parents anniversary) after leaving my house for 14 days and going on a $400 binge. I completed successfully a 28 day program there and now I currently live in a halfway house in Addison, Serenity House. I am active in both AA and NA and believe me, Narcotics Anonymous is a life saver. Its true when they tell you to give yourself a break by trying the program. Even though cravings are tough, and I fear temptation, I genuinely believe that I am doing the right thing and that I am capable of being one of the few who beats heroin addiction.

I dont want to be another statistic.....

good news... i'm not diabetic

(doctors)

bad news... they're holding my cap and gown pending my gym finals

(teachers)

graduation is friday

as if it wasn't enough stress to graduate

this week has lasted four years, and it's only wednesday

so i might be diabetic.... i passed out on saturday at trevors house and his dad called the ambulance because i was out for a good twenty minutes or so... and according to my blood test results, i am diabetic

i went to the doctor monday to re-do all the blood work and i get the results tomorrow....

the first thing my dad said was "great now you cant get insurance"

and then shortly after, we went to pick up my "surprise" new car that my sister had told me about the day before....

96 black saab convertible with tan leather interior

i am so excited :)

.g.o.o.d.b.y.e..f.o.r..n.o.w.

i love it when everything works out o.k.

my questioning mind has settled down... and i am perfectly content with my love. this weekend, so much changed with us... i really just think that it was a matter of having a physical connection beyond any that we have ever had until then.

and i am thankful that it happened because i could have been unhappy and questioning but never with a person who sincerely cares about me and thinks the world of me. but i am really happy now. i dont know what i was thinking

we spent a lot of time together this weekend... and we got to have a good time actually without anything to worry about... then on tuesday he came to my sisters confirmation... what kind of boyfriend can you drag to a boring ass confirmation (when he doesnt even believe in church)... she couldn't even get her boyfriend to go (smile)

i feel content with being content

well, its May

and it's raining (perfect huh?)

Prom

Prom was decent. the food, of course, was terrible. and our after prom plans, of course, fell through the day of prom (two hours before we were leaving to be exact)

but we still had fun it just didn't feel like "prom night" it felt like a Sunday

Senior Ditch Day
The fun part though was picking up Phil, Tristan, Ben, and Vince on 290 West because Phil's car ran out of gas... boy that was a blast :)

and even better was then driving Phil home (45 minutes away to bourbonnias) and it taking me two hours to get home

I'm horrible with directions

Craziest place I have had sex as of yesterday:

On the top floor of the Oakbrook Mall parking garage on the hood of my car at 8:30 last night (thank you Trevor)